Shrek (voice over):
Once upon a time,
There was a little ogre named Shrek,
Who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree.
It was a pretty nasty place.
But he was happy,
Because ogres like nasty.
On his birthday the little ogre’s parents
sat him down
To talk just as all ogre parents
Had for hundreds of years before.
Mother:
Listen son,
You're growing up so quickly,
Growing up bigger by the day.
Father:
Although we want you here,
The rules are very clear.
Mother:
Now you're seven.
Father:
Now you're seven.
Both:
So it's time to go away!
Father:
Your Mama packed a sandwich for your trip.
Mother:
Your Papa packed your boots
in case of snow.
Both:
You're gonna make us proud.
No backing up allowed!
Mother:
Just keep walking.
Father:
Just keep walking.
Both:
And you'll find somewhere to go!
It's a big bright beautiful world,
with happiness all around.
It's peaches and cream
and every dream comes true...
But not for you!
It's a big, bright, beautiful world,
with possiblities everywhere,
And just around the bend
there's a friend or two...
But not for you!
Mother:
We're ugly son, which means that life is harder.
People hate the things they cannot understand.
Father:
And when they look at us,
They tend to make a fuss.
Mother:
Burn our houses down.
Father:
And chase us,
Both:
Off our land.
Father:
It's important that you find a cozzy cesspit.
Mother:
A place no one would ever dare to tread.
Both:
And if they happen by,
Make sure you terrify them.
Mother:
If you don't son.
Father:
If you don't son.
Both:
Then you'll surely wind up dead!
Mother:
Good-bye!
Father:
Good-bye!
Mother:
Watch out for men with pitch-forks!
Shrek (voice over):
And so, the little ogre went off
And found a muddy patch of swamp land far,
Far away from the world that despised him.
There he stayed for many years,
Tucked away and all alone,
Which was just the way he liked it.
Shrek:
Keep your big, bright, beautiful world
I’m happy where I am, all alone.
I’ve got all I need
So read the stinkin’ sign, haha.
Keep your big, bright, beautiful world
I party on my own anyway
Doing what I can with a one man conga line
Yeah, your big, bright, beautiful world
Is all teddy bears and unicorns.
Take your fluffy fun
And shove it where the sun don’t shine.
I prefer a life like this
It’s not that complicated.
Sure I’m fated to be lonely
And I’m destined to be hated.
If you read the books they say
That’s why I was created.
But I don’t care
Coz being liked
Is grossly overrated
Who needs a big, bright, beautiful world?
I’ve got my own little patch on the world.
It’s not a big, bright, beautiful world
But it’s mine
Alone, it’s mine
And it’s mine
All mine!
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